by LeighHarris | Feb 27, 2015 | The Green Divorce
So you have come to the point where you both agree that it is time to seriously consider putting your marriage to rest. A green divorce is all about ethics and accountability to your selves, each other and others in your lives during this difficult time. This brings us to one of the green divorce principles regarding accountability: a green divorce is a process that is designed with sensitivity to the long lasting emotional and financial impact on the individuals involved as well as family members and the community at large. It is also about sustainability. Sustaining and supporting relationships you have made as a couple. This is vitally important if you have children. Forcing friends and family to choose between you has a toxic impact on everyone in a profound way. It is like the affects of harmful chemicals poured into a river which cannot be measured at the time but are inevitable. Thinking carefully about how you tell others begins with what you tell yourselves and each other. You do not owe details, simply thoughtful information with the understanding that you matter and people naturally will care. It sounds like a big responsibility. It is. Commitments and contracts are not to be taken lightly. You have chosen the right way to face this difficult decision together. Deciding together how and when you will tell those in your lives. Working together to conserve and save emotional energy, money and relationships will provide rewards for both of you. So how do you tell your family and friends? Hands down the most important and vulnerable people in a divorce are children....
by LeighHarris | Feb 5, 2015 | The Green Divorce
How to prepare for and approach this very difficult conversation? If you do things right it will happen and unfold on it’s own. Let’s say for the sake of discussion that we are going to take love and all of its complexities out of the mix. Whatever made your relationship work for the two of you is no longer working for one of you, correct. Chances are if it is not working for one of you, it isn’t working for either of you. You are a couple; a team and what affects one of you will undoubtedly have an impact on both of you. The green divorce actually starts long before the point where you feel a divorce is necessary. So if you are here, gently take a step back. A green divorce starts with that earliest recognition of dissatisfaction and how we address it at that time. We turn to our loved one/partner with respect and attempt to regain that workability before we decide to put our marriage to rest. You owe that to each other and to yourselves. There are a number of ways couples do this. But the idea is that they address this together. Talking, sharing, arguing even, but together. Usually counseling is discussed and tried. Perhaps even mediation at this point or conflict coaching. But they try these things together. This way they are always on the same page, not necessarily a happy one, but the same page nonetheless. This is honest, sad and hard, but it is the pay dirt of integrity. How you end your marriage will either set you free or...
