WHEN TO TELL THE KIDS-PART ONE of Three The defining moment of your children’s life and most likely your life will be when you tell them your marriage is over. In reality it’s not when you tell them, it’s when they comprehend what is going on and more precisely, how it is occurring. This, by the way, could be long before you tell them. I can’t write about that point in time. I can however share how you can usher in that moment of awareness in a positive way. One THEY MUST HEAR THIS FROM YOU DIRECTLY.  Your parents or a favorite aunt... read more

More about how to tell family and loved ones you are separating

This blog is for couples that want to preserve important family relationships. Couples who somehow have come to that place that regardless of who initiated it feel like –no matter how hard it is — that separation or divorce is the next step. Now you both feel its time to tell family and very close friends. A few tips: FIRST–be together on this. Know you both agree that separating or divorce is the right next step. If you are both not on that page– take more time to get clear on that before you share with loved ones. You will only get... read more

So how do you tell family and friends you are separating…?

So you have come to the point where you both agree that it is time to seriously consider putting your marriage to rest. A green divorce is all about ethics and accountability to your selves, each other and others in your lives during this difficult time.  This brings us to one of the green divorce principles regarding accountability: a green divorce is a process that is designed with sensitivity to the long lasting emotional and financial impact on the individuals involved as well as family members and the community at large. It is also about... read more

How to ask a loved one for a divorce…?

How to prepare for and approach this very difficult conversation? If you do things right it will happen and unfold on it’s own. Let’s say for the sake of discussion that we are going to take love and all of its complexities out of the mix. Whatever made your relationship work for the two of you is no longer working for one of you, correct. Chances are if it is not working for one of you, it isn’t working for either of you. You are a couple; a team and what affects one of you will undoubtedly have an impact on both... read more

Beginning the Green Divorce

So as you begin to think about leaving your loved one, before you bolster yourself with support from friends and family to make the next step remember you may be hurting what others think of your spouse? Does he/she even know how you feel? Have you given them the opportunity to help? It is not criminal to be unhappy in a marriage. It is not criminal to feel trapped and want to change your relationship. It is, however, very wrong to create negative images of your soon to be ex to justify your emotions and what you may be about to do.... read more


Like many of us in the field of Divorce and Mediation, I too, have my divorce story as a child of parents who separated.  My desire to provide this blog is born from my childhood experience with divorce and my adult environmental activism. Extreme and harmful waste is associated with our current style of divorce. Waste and damage; both financial and emotional. On the way back from Rochester one particularly beautiful day, I had an overwhelming feeling that what I do with my families, who come to me for a divorce, is not enough. We drive Praises, recycle and use solar energy. We... read more