Like many of us in the field of Divorce and Mediation, I too, have my divorce story as a child of parents who separated. My desire to provide this blog is born from my childhood experience with divorce and my adult environmental activism.
Extreme and harmful waste is associated with our current style of divorce. Waste and damage; both financial and emotional.
On the way back from Rochester one particularly beautiful day, I had an overwhelming feeling that what I do with my families, who come to me for a divorce, is not enough.
We drive Praises, recycle and use solar energy. We no longer want the traumatic, time consuming, costly divorce of the past. I believe in our society, it is no longer socially acceptable to diminish a former spouse, or utilize taxpayer dollars to fight your spouse in court. We are ready for a cultural response to divorce.
When we marry our union gives birth to an entity that we call family. That family becomes a presence in many people’s lives. As we divorce that family is at risk. The union that created it is dissolving; so great and tender care must be given to preserving that family entity, that presence in so many people’s lives.
Our current divorce culture does not provide a safe alternative, which preserves and protects the family. Even mediation does not complete the process.
Marriages that are dissolving do not belong in the courthouse. They are tender and they are vulnerable and they are attached to families and children and relatives.
It is not a safe environment, yet we are informed, that is the way to get a divorce.
The mere idea that you need protection from someone who vowed to love and cherish you is a complete disconnect (with the exception of domestic violence, where of course it is absolutely needed).
Lawyers routinely diminish and insult spouses of their clients. This is harmful to families.
Judges allow lawyers to treat each other’s clients disrespectfully. This is harmful to families.
We must protect our families and let these professionals know this is not acceptable. Also I believe we must ask more of our couples who are getting married and ask more of their families, friends and loved ones who support them. We are all involved.
With knowledge and information we are able to make a change.
So I am here to present to you.
The Green Divorce blog.
It starts with the way we tell our loved one we want or need a divorce…
And ends with a smaller footprint, a transformed/working relationship and intact family bonds.